September 25, 2006 Thirteen Things You Won't Hear at League Media Days • "We'd congratulate last year's champs, but they only won because of that hitting from behind call against us." • "Am I concerned? I've got six walk-on goaltending candidates coming to practice next week. What do you think?" • "Has anyone else noticed the commissioner smells like peach schnapps and Aqua Velva?" • "Everyone is excited about this time of year because of the fantastic officiating in our league." • "I'd like to thank the Cornell contingent here today for not throwing any seafood at us." • "Darn right we should be picked 10th, my players can't even tie their own skates." • "More road games and more bus rides. Which is good, because I can never get enough of that Happy Gilmore character!" • "If you look at the preseason media poll, obviously they know an awful lot about what's going on in this league." • "Our team lacks maturity. But when you meet their parents, it all starts to add up." • "I can't think of a better way to start the year than spending a couple hours in a hotel ballroom with a bunch of coaches I detest and spewing cliches to you idiot reporters." • "Have you seen 'Deal or No Deal'? I mean, how good is that show?" • "Championships are nice, but our kids are here to get an education and ... damn it! I knew I couldn't get through that sentence with a straight face!" • "I've actually had a hard time getting motivated lately. It's been a while since those guys at INCH did one of their Found on a Cocktail Napkin things."