The Week Before Christmas
'Twas the week before Christmas, and all
through the nation
College hockey teams were on a mid-point vacation
It's been a dandy first half for our beloved
Especially for fans of old Notre Dame
Minnesota's been great, too; I'm sure
you've been readin'
Can the Gophs keep it up when half of 'em are in Sweden?
They're at the World Juniors, where the
States have been so-so
We recommend a double dose of Johnsons, and one of Okposo
Kyle, that is ... no, not NMU's Walt
Hey, what's up with the Badgers? It ain't Elliot's fault
We better move east; the fans will claim
Unlike Dartmouth's A.D., we're not transparently pious
Here's something I've thought of over
time, not a hurry
Cory Schneider's been good, but not better than Curry
That's just one man's opinion, not a homer
"Wait a second," says Mass fan, "What
about our Jon Quick?"
He's played pretty well; hope he'll play
on the dish
With all this year's standouts … that's my Christmas
I love my 700 channels; tell the cable
guy to stick it
The DirecTV sports pack is my college hockey ticket
With Sagissor and Wooger, Paul Braun,
I stare at my TV and eat a crunchy beef taco
I spend weekends in the basement …
no, it's not scary
On Saturdays I tune in for a peek at Don Cherry
But I digress; Wait a minute … is
this true? What the hell?
Is Maine's leading scorer a guy named Michel?
Lévéille … Oh, I see.
He's that dude from Quebec
Just like Junior Lessard, who once played at the DECC
But back to Lévéille; He's
got 12 scores
An octet of assists, feeding teammate Josh Soares
Maine's been real good, but UNH has been
Can the Wildcats avoid their traditional tournament
Could happen, I guess, with Smith, Radja,
To make it come true, Dick Umile'd go vegan
Goalies, they say, are a curious lot
They're fine when they're winning; moody if not
Some teams have two good ones, as Miami's
In Ann Arbor, the netminder's routinely filleted
Who'll stop pucks for UM? That's tough
… I don't know, man
Minnesota gave the Wolvies a Thanksgiving snowman
When I'm at Munn Arena, I say to myself,
"Jeff Lerg could get screened by an average-height
An e-mailer from Huntsville writes, "Hey,
Uhh … the league has just five teams. The sixth?
The league asked around, but no sixth
voice for their chorus
Of Niagara, Wayne, Huntsville, Bemidge, and Bob Morris
Got a note from a Yalie on Capitol Hill
Wants to talk ECAC Hockey League, which we call "the
Clarkson, Quinnipiac – both have
With Zalewski and Wong, not a moment is boring
Then there's Cornell, best known for defensive
Lynah's lately been home for offensive displays
Don't leave us out, says Hockey Atlantic
Minnesota v. Holy Cross — an upset? Gigantic!
We'll get you in … best believe
that we're tryin'
Is the MVP Ehn, or Pierre-Luc O'Brien?
Merry Christmas to you, and a sincere
Your friends at INCH, and Happy Hanukkah, Eric Nystrom!
- Mike Eidelbes