December 18, 2006
The Week Before Christmas

'Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the nation
College hockey teams were on a mid-point vacation

It's been a dandy first half for our beloved game
Especially for fans of old Notre Dame

Minnesota's been great, too; I'm sure you've been readin'
Can the Gophs keep it up when half of 'em are in Sweden?

They're at the World Juniors, where the States have been so-so
We recommend a double dose of Johnsons, and one of Okposo

Kyle, that is ... no, not NMU's Walt
Hey, what's up with the Badgers? It ain't Elliot's fault

We better move east; the fans will claim bias
Unlike Dartmouth's A.D., we're not transparently pious

Here's something I've thought of over time, not a hurry
Cory Schneider's been good, but not better than Curry

That's just one man's opinion, not a homer pick
"Wait a second," says Mass fan, "What about our Jon Quick?"

He's played pretty well; hope he'll play on the dish
With all this year's standouts … that's my Christmas wish

I love my 700 channels; tell the cable guy to stick it
The DirecTV sports pack is my college hockey ticket

With Sagissor and Wooger, Paul Braun, and Mazzocco
I stare at my TV and eat a crunchy beef taco

I spend weekends in the basement … no, it's not scary
On Saturdays I tune in for a peek at Don Cherry

But I digress; Wait a minute … is this true? What the hell?
Is Maine's leading scorer a guy named Michel?

Lévéille … Oh, I see. He's that dude from Quebec
Just like Junior Lessard, who once played at the DECC

But back to Lévéille; He's got 12 scores
An octet of assists, feeding teammate Josh Soares

Maine's been real good, but UNH has been better
Can the Wildcats avoid their traditional tournament header?

Could happen, I guess, with Smith, Radja, and Regan
To make it come true, Dick Umile'd go vegan

Goalies, they say, are a curious lot
They're fine when they're winning; moody if not

Some teams have two good ones, as Miami's displayed
In Ann Arbor, the netminder's routinely filleted

Who'll stop pucks for UM? That's tough … I don't know, man
Minnesota gave the Wolvies a Thanksgiving snowman

When I'm at Munn Arena, I say to myself,
"Jeff Lerg could get screened by an average-height elf"

An e-mailer from Huntsville writes, "Hey, no CHA?"
Uhh … the league has just five teams. The sixth? M.I.A.

The league asked around, but no sixth voice for their chorus
Of Niagara, Wayne, Huntsville, Bemidge, and Bob Morris

Got a note from a Yalie on Capitol Hill
Wants to talk ECAC Hockey League, which we call "the Chill"

Clarkson, Quinnipiac – both have high-powered scoring
With Zalewski and Wong, not a moment is boring

Then there's Cornell, best known for defensive ways
Lynah's lately been home for offensive displays

Don't leave us out, says Hockey Atlantic
Minnesota v. Holy Cross — an upset? Gigantic!

We'll get you in … best believe that we're tryin'
Is the MVP Ehn, or Pierre-Luc O'Brien?

Merry Christmas to you, and a sincere bye-bye from
Your friends at INCH, and Happy Hanukkah, Eric Nystrom!

- Mike Eidelbes

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