October 20, 2008
Eleven Cost-Saving NCAA Tournament Measures

• Traveling pep bands are too big, too expensive; schools are only permitted to send barbershop quartets (or in Michigan State's case, Goofus).

• Games start at midnight and 3 a.m. local time, because ice time is cheaper.

• As per recent tradition, Michigan's Thursday night return trip to Ann Arbor from Frozen Four booked 21 days in advance.

• Two words: Priceline Negotiator

• Boston College forwards must fit in an overhead storage compartment.

• Elaborate Frozen Four skills competition replaced by two guys at red line shooting pucks at a coffee can.

• Two referees, two linesmen? Nope. One referee: Steve Piotrowski

• Slide rules replace computers; PWR rankings to take three weeks to tally.

• Teams at regionals required to bunk with billet families.

• To conserve space for more spectators, North Dakota fans limited to bringing one grudge into the arena.

• Instead of a commemorative poster featuring the Frozen Four site, fans now receive a high five from volunteers at each exit.