Postcard: A Professional Hockey Fan-tasy

Our loyalties lie, first and foremost, with the college game. But we all root for guys who used to play for our favorite team or in our league, and have since moved on to the professional ranks. Keeping that in mind, I’d like to send out these wishes as the pros embark on another season of playing for money (insert your own Doug Woog or University of Maine joke here).

  • To the Detroit Red Wings’ Curtis Joseph, that you find joining the defending Stanley Cup champions and replacing one of the five best goaltenders in hockey history less stressful than playing in the klieg-light glare of Toronto.
  • To the Calgary Flames’ Jordan Leopold, that you become the next Brian Leetch and not the next Brett Lindros.
  • To Paul Kariya of the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, that you keep your stick on the ice, because new teammate Adam Oates will find your tape.
  • To the Rochester Americans’ Ryan Miller, that you’re not counted on to single-handedly win every game this season.
  • To the Edmonton Oilers, that you keep making your team our favorite by continuing to trot out a lineup full of ex-college skaters - guys like Carter, Comrie, Conklin, Horcoff, Marchant, Reasoner, Swanson and York.
  • To Erik Cole of the Carolina Hurricanes, that your team goes deep into the postseason so we can see the best playoff beard since Lanny McDonald one more time.
  • To another Hurricane, Dave Tanabe, that you worry less about your contract and more about your performance on the ice.
  • To the designer of this site, Chicago Wolves defenseman Mike Weaver, that you get a call from Atlanta general manager Don Waddell real soon. By the way, we like club-level seats.
  • To the Philadelphia’s John LeClair and Doug Weight of St. Louis, that you return to All-Star form (and not just because I drafted you guys for my rotisserie team.)
  • To Ed Belfour of the Toronto Maple Leafs, that you don’t offer any law enforcement agents one billion dollars this year.
  • To the Manchester Monarchs’ Mike Cammalleri, that your wallet makes for a good cushion on the bus trip from Albany to Hamilton.
  • To 5-foot-7, 175 pound New Jersey Devil Brian Gionta, that you don’t run into former teammate and 6-foot-4, 230-pound behemoth Mike Commodore, now in the Mighy Ducks system with Cincinnati of the AHL.
  • To the Los Angeles Kings’ Aaron Miller, who's sidelined for up to two months, that you explain to me what exactly is a “sports hernia”.
  • To Dan Hinote of the Colorado Avalanche, that you continue to do the Army hockey program proud.
  • To Dany Heatley of the Atlanta Thrashers, that you don’t change a thing.
  • To Bill Muckalt of the Minnesota Wild, that you get the monkey off your back by scoring a goal in the first regular-season game.
  • To the Buffalo Sabres, that your owners pay the electric bill through at least April so we can have our Frozen Four there. But I wouldn’t count on getting the damage deposit back.

– Mike Eidelbes

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