July
15, 2003
Postcard:
15 Summer Ponderings
It's summertime,
and a young man's thoughts turn to ... something other than hockey?
Well, not often, but we do drift away occasionally. Here are 15
things that are on our mind as we try to get the air conditioning
running again.
• What
nicknames will incoming Princeton freshmen B.J. Mackasey and B.J.
Sklapsky have so teammates can tell them apart? Their last names
are even tricky with the hockey nickname formula, offered by my
colleague Mike Eidelbes: To figure out a particular player's moniker,
take the first syllable of his last name and tack on either "er"
or a variation of "y" (including "ey", "sy"
or "ie") at the end. For example, Minnesota's Troy Riddle
becomes "Riddler" and Denver's Wade Dubielewicz is called
"Dubie". More reliable than "i" before "e"
except after "c".
• Wouldn’t
a between-periods sausage race be even better on ice than on the
bases? This absolutely, positively has to happen in Milwaukee
in 2006 – and we implore Mike Eaves to introduce it sooner
at Kohl Center.
• With
Freddy Meyer signing a pro contract, who would be the next-most-likely
college player to assault a sausage?
• How
come our ATM cards know everything about our bank accounts, but
still have to ask what language we speak?
• Is
there any chance Bill Simmons – ESPN.com’s esteemed
“Sports Guy” – will return to his hometown of
Boston for the Frozen Four next April?
• Whether
it’s the ballpark, the Dog Sled Saloon in Fairbanks, Alaska,
or your local burger joint, is there anything bad you can say
about a place that lets you throw peanut shells on the floor?
• Do
you think Jason Sessa is at the InLine World Championship this
week thinking, “Yup, this makes leaving college a year early
worthwhile”?
• Given
that he’s from Hastings, Minn. – also home to Jeff
Taffe and Tom Sagissor – how is it that late-night talk
show host Craig Kilborn’s one flaw is his preference for
basketball over pucks?
• Is
the Mighty Wingman song available on CD? Don’t you wish
that singer played at a hole-in-the-wall bar in your town every
Wednesday night?
• Who
knew there were this many channels on DirecTV besides the regional
sports networks?
• If
Philadelphia had gotten the Frozen Four in 2007 or ’08,
would Bobby Clarke have even gone to the games? Do you think they
would have gotten him to market it: “Well, it’s not
as good as major junior hockey, but at least some of the guys
are big.”
• Isn’t
it sad – and telling – that the best thing you can
say about the baseball all-star game is that it will decide who
gets an extra home game if the World Series happens to go seven
games? Has all the excitement of a coin flip, doesn’t it?
• Is
it just me, or is it impossible to be on a train, regardless of
the city, and not yell out "Boylston!" at one of the
stops?
• Tuesday's
Detroit News features a list of high-profile hockey free
agents still on the open market, and included Luc Robitaille's
name in that group. We admire his body of work, but putting Lucky
on this list is like putting Judge Reinhold among 2003's hot,
A-list actors.
• Is
it betrayal of our usual favorites – Canadian beers –
if we're drinking Sam Adams Summer Ale this time of year? I'm
going out on a limb and saying it's okay since there's no hockey
on.
–
Nate Ewell
